how misguided

Do you really believe that shouting, screaming, physical, mental and emotional abuse is going to help? Do you think by making threats and giving me ultimatums you're going to solve things and have everything go your way? Maybe, if you paint yourself as the victim, poor, pitiful, martyr-like, you'll win?

Newsflash: It just makes me resent you even more.

Sometimes, you make me so fucking angry my hands shake continuously, and I feel like bashing your snide, sniveling face right in.

God help me.

car crash train wreck don't worry son i've got your back

I'm in the saddest frames of mind right now. Maybe sad isn't the word. depressed, demoralised, put down, low, low, low. I can't even think of similar words that better describe how I feel. I FEEL LIKE CRAP, to put it bluntly/crudely.

There's only a short list of suspects who have such talent to continually make me feel this way - very short. And guess who it is this time?
I am not a slut, a bitch, a whore, a fucker etc etc etc. Use those adjectives(?) combine them creatively with each other and in sentences to get additional variety for bonus points.

Grow a brain and some common sense and shed your stupid old fashioned ways. Yes, you may be open and lenient - or rather you may swear up and down that you're not old fashioned and you and your co-conspirator are probably la creme de la creme of your kind because you're both sooo 'open-minded' - but HELLO YOUR MIND IS STILL LIVING IN THE WRONG CENTURY GET OUT OF IT GET OUT GET OUT.

What's wrong about it? What is so wrong? It's one of the very few highlights of my week, thankyouverymuch.

Does it hurt you? no
Does it cause you pain? no
Does it make you lose money? no
Does it make you lose blood? no
Does it make the house fall down? no
Does it make the economy bad? no
Does it divert a meteor and we're all going to die in 2010? no

So what the fuck is so wrong about staying out/staying over at somewhere else other than my house?
You know I can see through your methods of psychological warfare, but then why does it still make me feel so shitty about myself?

And I know reverse psychology when I see it. Yes, I've "got a bright future". Yes I can "go very far" but because of the way I am I will probably "self-destruct"?

So this is meant to make me 'change' for you and have a nice bright shiny future? All for my own good? If so, then you'd have won because of your reverse tactic. If I say fuck it and purposely self-destruct, then all you have to do is sit back and say "I told you so".

I'm caught between the devil who lives in a hard place and rocks in the deep blue sea.

Some stupid china fucker has been shouting and shouting in the carpark for almost an hour.
If I had a gun I swear I could kill people in cold blood.


I am so jaded. and so sick of school too. two weeks of school so far and again i feel like running.

if happiness is a warm gun then the path to it is a full magazine with extra ammunition

when i scroll back and read words from months long past, i can't place a finger on the feeling. perhaps a bittersweet misery, or a wistfulness. a strange, poignant mish-mash of fragments. swirling thoughts clamouring for an answer, a phantom ache in somewhere that, technically, should not be able to hurt. confusion reigns, the future's as bright as you want it to be, and i want it blindingly so. help me.

the three evils of production

in no particular order:

1. children
2. old people
3. animals

lies I've told my 3 year old recently, by Raul Gutierrez

Random facts

`The longest word in th english language is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.

`The only other word with the same number of letters is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconioses, its plural form

`The longest place-name still in use is Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturi-

pukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwenuakitnatahu, a New Zealand hill.

`Useful to know: to escape the grip of a crocodile push your thumbs in its eye sockets- it will let go instantly

`A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continually

`23% of all photocopying faults worldwide are caused by people sittng on them and copying their buttocks

`cats have over 100 vocal sounds while dogs have 10

`all porcupines float in water

`Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula". And can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, "L.A."

In ancient England a person ! could not have sex unless you had consent of the King (unless you were in the Royal Family).
When anyone wanted to have a baby, they got consent of the King, the King gave them a placard that 
they hung on their door while they were having sex.
The placard had F.*.*.*. (Fornication Under Consent of the King) on it. Now you know where that came from. 

i've had an awesome 27.5 hours(:


and next monday is school. biiiiiiiiiiiig blergh!