This year

I will always remember:
(in chronological - or as much as I possibly can remember - order)

The end of a long relationship
Supper
Drinking
A two-week fling/ rebound/ whatever
Being alone
Being lonely
Being very, very, supremely depressed
Something beautiful but forbidden, which caused a lot of joy and just as much pain
Meeting lots of people
Lots of new, friendly people
A weird relationship I don't want to really think about much anymore (sorry.)
Drinking
Oops! Launch at Zouk
Getting to know my course-mates better through Spec. dip classes and TVSM
Losing old friends and gaining many new ones
Passing my driving test (!)
Starting a job
More drinking
Meeting someone wonderful
and
spending my birthday, christmas and this coming new year's with aforementioned someone wonderful (:


There are so many more things probably too trivial for me to mention here but I think I did a lot of growing up this year.
I faced a biiiiig breakup I wasn't ready for, dealt with a buttload of depression, pulled myself out of it, did things I wasn't proud of (but I don't regret it), got depressed again, and finally managed to kick myself back up.

And as 2007 draws to a close, I can sit back, give myself a pat on my back and proudly say that right now, I am happy.

because I have absolutely nothing better to do.

I was there, a moment ago.

YES BABY.
Incubus.
I am so going.
And Extreme are re-grouping, recording new stuff and are going to tour. Nuno!

I need so much more mon-ayeeeeeee. munny? monies?
money.
to do the things I want to.

$.

K while I sound like a money-lovin' materialistic bitch, it's true, there're so many things I want to do, and I need money to fund them. Concerts, gigs, stuff to buy, places to go, restaurants to check out.. yada yada blah blah.

I don't mind getting a mild concussion from a suitcase of 100$ bills dropping on my head.

Just a mild one though.

cheap thrills don't cost an arm and a leg.

See the picture? See Dong all rockstar-ish and look at his adoring minions wait I meant fans.
Ok now.
Look at the left side of the picture. Look at the arrow pointing to the lifeguard tower. Look in the lifeguard tower.
LOOK AT ME!

wow talk about cheap thrills man.

Hibernation

Today the plan was to s-
wait lets cut the crap and just get down to it.

Today, I slept like a motherfucker.

Crudeness aside, that's exactly what I did. I probably slept 75% of today, no joke.

I'm either
a) very very tired,
b) suffering from the effects of not sleeping for so long,
c) affected by the rainy weather or
d) under attack by tiny little elves pulling down my eyelids.

And boy, it feels rather good (I guess) but does not remove the fact that I am/ was/ still am
so
damn
tired.

anti-social lurker - the kind that watches from windows peeping out from behind curtains

I've been quite the recluse lately, it seems.
Contrary to popular belief, I AM online, I just appear offline and lurk til I find someone I want to talk to.


It's probably just a phase.

Superbus

French band. For some reason though their music is totally not me, I like it. Odd huh. I shall have to get their music somehow.

Also I happen to think the singer is hot. Add her to the list of women I'd turn lesbian for!

vent

I do not 'want to be a member of a group', if it means all this shit comes my way.

For the record:
Advertising concept MINE
Print ad MINE
TV ad MINE
Billboard ad MINE
Radio ad MINE
added to the fact I've gone through everything at least seven times tonight.

Also for the record: I never wanted to join anyway. I'd have been a lot happier just doing pair work. With the other 'reject'. I'd rather drop a grade for not following instructions than have to put up with all this shit in a loser group. And I don't care who sees this anymore.

GAH
RAWR
L;GKJSDFJDFDKLDLKDSLK~!!

vent vent vent vent vent
vent vent vent
vent vent vent vent
vent vent bitch bitch vent
bitch vent bitch bitch bitch vent

siooma. breathe. sioooooooooooomaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Suck It Out Of My Ass
motherfuckers.

Shameless plug for the Family

Love is Indie Air

Venue: Blu Jaz Café, 11 Haji Lane
Date: December 15, 2007
Time: 9pm till late
Ticket Price: $15 (inclusive of 1 drink)

Featuring : THE PINHOLES, CARACAL, WEST GRAND BOULEVARD, TIRAMISU, GIANTS MUST FALL, ALLURA AND DJs LOCKSMITH GREEN & MEGAHOLLYTRON

here

and if you have
Facebook.

SO
VERY
BORED
OMG


and have I mentioned how much I detest groupings sometimes?

pictures

are all screwed up. Some are from Tuesday and some from today. I can't be stuffed to rearrange everything.


sooooooo spiffyyyyy.


they had a three-hour phone conversation the night before and decided to wear the same thing.
no not really.


during lecture randomly


on Tuesday I was Shawn Ho.
I've no idea who he is.


Dream a little dream
or
Say a little prayer
or
Aza does funny things with his hands.


wedding photo


we spent ages trying to get the timer on my camera to work..


..only to find that the lighting sucked.


superheroes!

woooo

sluttiest music video I've seen in a while, and this includes manson's "heart shaped glasses" where he has sex with his girlfriend.


Nerd - Lap Dance - MyVideo

half hour of power! (nap)

I was washing my hands in the toilet when I saw the girl. One of the many social butterflies at the party, she was now slumped in a corner. Blood trickled in a thin stream down her jawline.
Panic seized me. Something was really wrong and I knew it. I yanked open the toilet door and someone grabbed my wrist. My heart resumed beating when I realised it was my mother.
"We have to go."
"Hurry."
I dragged her back to our hotel room. When we got there, the door opened and my father and brother stood back to let us in. Tension ran high. The four of us ran to the window and looked out.
A smattering of random people were on the other balconies, or pressed up against their windows, looking out.
Men in yellow protective suits stood on the icy shelf below. Lights flashed and lit up the huge tanker truck parked next to the group.
The balcony next to us had a small knot of people. A bride in her wedding dress was weeping as a baby basket was slowly lowered down the rope. Blood seeped out of the bottom of the basket. It made patterns in the snow below.
My mother rolled her eyes.
Footsteps raced outside in the corridor.
There was a scream,
a gurgle.
Silence.


My brain is seriously overworked. Or rather, worked more than it's used to. Damn mid-sem test week. I can't wait til Wednesday.

two

Yesterday! Heaven and Hell! God, they were so good. Squashed right at the barrier in front, I was so lucky there was Coleman Isaac and VJ to form a protective wall behind!
And I spent 40$ on a Heaven and Hell shirt. Oh well it's a once-in-a-lifetime thing, before Dio decides to kick the bucket. But for a 65 year oldie, he sure can rock ass.

And seen on Friday:


A cat balloon and a dinosaur balloon caught in a compromising position.
I swear, this was not set up.


fall down, pick myself up. fall down, pick myself up again. over and over and over. I hope it stops here.

everything

Sigh.

Don't know what to do about everything everything, confusing hard not sure everything everything too many too much too little too soon too slow everything everything fun and everything everything but also messy everything everything make up mind made up mind everything everything want ______ (and if you were really bo liao you'd count how many letters that blank consists of and try fill it in but then again you wouldn't be like that, would you?) everything everything don't want everything everything but don't know anything everything..

I could go on for ages.

guilty secret!

this song is very addictive!

OK quick let me try justify myself. It's late-night madness when I'm feeling restless and depressed and weird? haha.

I've always rather liked Christina Aguilera though.

Fly High Michelle

Just for fun,

look what I've done.
(ooh that rhymes!)
Though my top piercing's a little sore now, from having made a sudden jump up to a 14 gauge bar from an 18 gauge. Stretching cartilage, even a small bit, hurts a bitchfull.

In other news I stopped being a miser and spent 130$ today, on a super cool super slim watch from Swatch. I swear, I can watch it (pun unintended) for ages, cause it's transparent and every minute, on the dot, I can see the minute hand move!

Super slim phone, super slim watch, now my wallet is beginning to feel super slim too ):
Never mind, pay tomorrow!

I Hate Kissing You Goodbye.

Baby, times are changing I see it in your eyes
So why do we keep on pretending, why do we even try
My heart is like an open book
Won't you read between the lines
And show me, show me, show me everything's alright

I hate kissing you goodbye, whoa ohh oh ooooh
I’ve heard it all before, and I know for sure
That it won't heal with time, baby
I hate kissing you, kissing you goodbye, whoa whoa yeah

Maybe, the things we shared were never meant to be
Our love is like a heart attack, and it's slowly killing me, yeah
If you can taste the pain I know or
The way I feel inside
Then show me, show me, show me everything's alright

I hate kissing you goodbye, whoa ohh oh ooooh
I’ve heard it all before, and I know for sure
That it won't heal with time, (it won't heal with time)
No matter what I do, or what I say, no matter how I try, baby
I hate kissing you, kissing you goodbye, whoa whoa yeah

Then show me, show me, come on show me
Everything's alright,
I hate kissing you goodbye
I hate kissing you goodbye
I never, ever, ever wanted to kiss you goodbye, whoa oh oh

I hate (I hate) kissing you goodbye, Baby-baby
I hate (I hate) kissing you goodbye, (oh-oh-oh) you know I never wanted to
I hate (I hate) kissing you goodbye, bye-bye-bye
Bye-bye, (my-my) miss American pie, whoa oh ohh
I hate (I hate) kissing you goodbye.

But I have?

Monday and Tuesday

The sum of what happened in school for the past two days - six lectures two tutorials and this is all I have to show for it:

(by the way, BLOGGER SO SUCK - haha lefty - cause it won't let me upload photos, and I had to resort to using photobucket to host)



"Tomorrow's my friend's birthday. Should we be nice and get him a cake, or throw him into the sea?"

Terence: Throw him in the sea! Then give him the cake.

Chen Yan: Nono, throw the cake into the sea.

cracks me up.

wow!

I'm watching an octopus get peeled on tv. Gross man!!

Little things amuse me a lot. Like how the very last song in my 101 Green Day song playlist that was set on random shuffle is titled In the End.

there's lots of work to be done, blergh.

Quick, I need ideas for a story for specialist dip which is due (I think) this week.

diediedie.

prayers in my pocket, no hand in destiny

Lately (and when I say 'lately' I really mean in the past year or so) things are just bad, overall, and sometimes I just wish I had a way to stop it all, block it out, end it. Everything.

Yes, life this year has been going up and down like one of Chet's story-plot-summary-diagrams, as life does, I suppose, but I've been hanging around the low parts for too long. I had a wonderful reprieve from March to May, and then again in July, but well, I guess it's time to move elsewhere.
Do I want to?
I don't know, honestly.

I'd love to talk on the phone again.

I guess listening to Eric Clapton puts me in a somewhat pensive, depressed mood.

I'm pretty pissed off

But what else can I do about it except smile, laugh and pretend that everything's all fine and dandy around the rest?

It just sucks having people go behind your back; it sucks even more when those people are people whom you have some kinship with. People whom you see almost every day. You all could have at least told me in advance before springing it like that today. Now I'm stuck with a bunch of sresol and I don't trust them to do anything. It would have been different if we'd discussed it, I don't mind the split, but hey, to place yourselves in the prime group(s) with the top people and sticking the other two into a shitty group is just way low. Yes, I may joke about it, cap'n and all that shit, but I really am rather peeved. It wasn't a nice thing to do.

Gee, thanks a bunch. Thanks a whole motherfucking bunch.


On a lighter note, the Very Berry Sorbet from Jones the grocer tastes almost exactly like a strawberry daiquiri, sans the alcohol.


But I am still pissed off.

random but!!

I love it when I dye my hair, and I wash off the dye in the shower. it looks like a FUCKING BLOODBATH YAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

\m/




ok, late-night-last-minute-work-I-should've-done-at-least-a-week-ago-but-I-(once again)-procrastinated-really-badly-which-results-in-me-rushing-at-the-last-possible-moment is getting to me.

No wonder sometimes I withdraw into myself.

It kinda sucks to not be wanted. No wonder sometimes I'm insecure. Withdrawn. Quiet. -insertwhateverfuckingelseyoucanthinkofhere-

When someone goes "I don't want her here, I don't want her around" and someone else replies "but I want to live alone, I need to be alone."
It's not very good, is it?

Kick me around some more.

It's times like these when I realise that work > everything else, cause it provides some form of escape, and I get paid, too.

oh fuck, i'm in such deep shit now.

balls

Two "balls" related things:

Ming is hardcore playing Endless Zombie Rampage. Balls. I have to start playing more to beat him, challenge challenge!

and

Aza went freeballin' today. Ventilation!

Endless Zombie Rampage

One of my all-time favourite time wasters, Endless Zombie Rampage!

Check out the body count and the ground, empty shells, laser scorch marks and zombie bodies abound!

Presenting...

My superpartnerincrime*, the Bameister! :D


*wait, I meant Justice!

oh,

and for the record, in my book at this present time,

work > school x 10000000438598096795

fuck nahbei cheebye kaninaaaaaaaaaa.

No Reservations

Don't watch No Reservations.
Good lord, Hamster made me waste 9$ on the damn movie cause he was too chicken to watch a scary movie.

The movie is totally overly predictable and is chockablock with cliches. It's almost as bad as Because I Said So, which is probably the worst movie I've watched this year.

No Reservations' only redeeming quality though, is that the male lead looks like Jon Bon Jovi, only one of the hottest men around.

It'd be so sexy to have Jon Bon Jovi cook for me. Ah, cliches.

I'd date Jon Bon Jovi, though he's waaaay older than me. Or I'll settle for someone who looks a lot like him! Quick form a line. I'll probably have to get out of this country though.
I like older men.

Jon Bon Jovi!

ok Nicola.
sleep now.
Work tomorrow at 11am.

Interface

Don't just sit there and stare at me
Don't just sit there and watch me bleed
I'm losing you, and you, you're losing me

-"Interface", Dramagods.

If only there was some way I could change things, make you feel better and turn back the clock.
Just.. make things good again.
I miss you so much, but I don't know if you even feel my presence lacking.
I don't want to lose you, and you'll never really lose me.
I'm here, I always am.

all this, it's making me sad, but I love it still; I keep perusing it. It's the epitome of the word bittersweet. It hurts, but it hurts so good, sometimes.

I'm still here. I've always been.

I PASSED OMG THE RELIEF

and an A for the LC module! Thus continues my streak! Though I shouldn't be too thrilled with all the D's, but at least I passed!!! I still have the specialist diploma!

Name: NICOLA WONG MEI YIN

Module Code - Credit Unit - Grade
---------------------------------
LC313A - 2 - A
BA0237 - 3 - B
BA0219 - 4 - B
BA0076 - 4 - D
BA0220 - 3 - D
BA0221 - 3 - D+
BA0265 - 5 - D+

results are out soon I'm so tired and I'm so scared and my head hurts and I'm so sad I feel like crying but there's no one's shoulder I can cry on.

Untitled poem

Les meubles dans le camion
Les vetements dans les valises
Une maison vide
Et toi parti.
the furniture is in the truck
clothes are packed into boxes
the house is empty
you are gone
Thanks, Alliance Francias.

I can't hear your voice over the radio in my car (if I HAD a car)

Let it not be said that I'm not girly.
I know I'm more male than some males I know (hahaha) but here is testament that I have a giggly (ok no, I'm not giggly, hell no, that was the only adjective I could think of on the spot) girl side.

I finally cleared the mess in a bookshelf ! Old paper bags from Japan, dust, some magazines, dust, cds, odds and ends, papers, files, dust, books, and dust. Oh and don't forget the dust! All gone. And in place of all that rubbish, I have..
SHOES!!
(This is also cheaper than getting shoe racks from IKEA and I am broke.)







and, in it's entirety: (ignore the surrounding mess)



I have ten pairs there! And another pair of heels and a pair of sneakers outside.


I shock myself.

big dee ♠

I'm lonely and itching to play daidee. And school doesn't start for a few weeks. Not that I want to go to school, but where else am I going to get my daidee fix?

By the way, it's been (oh shit) ten years since I first heard this song, at one of my friend's houses in Melbourne. I still love it.



How about it in interpretive dance?

you can drive..

In two weeks I'll get one of the best pieces of mail I've gotten in a long time.
(I look positively retarded in the photo, but then again what's new?)

1, 2, 3, 5.. err. 4.

Take a couple of left-over-from-the-previous-night's-dinner grain-fed Angus beef strip loin steaks, add a spoonful (or seven) of boredom, factor in a hungry dog and you get..

Hello to anyone who actually reads here and cares.

I have a job. Starts in September.

French class

we were describing people in French class, and the other students had to guess who were were describing. Out of a class of 15 people, 4 decided to describe me.

Once they said:
"la person est grande, rousse, elle a les cheveux raidx, longs"
-the person is tall(ish), redhead, long straight hair

that was the end of that.

man oh man oh man, I love my hair, I really do.

busybeebaby

Whoa finally, my week's filling up and I won't be so bored.. ok who am I kidding here, we all know I'm almost perpetually bored.

Anyway,

Monday (today good God):
Organisational Management paper
-and I'm real screwed, shit.

Tuesday:
I think I'm going out.
-Hooray.

Wednesday:
Mass Media Research paper
-again, I'm in big trouble.

Thursday:
Driving
-finally! I haven't driven for a month, hands itchy.

Friday:
Driving in the morning
-yes, 14 hours after my revision lesson I have yet another. Test's drawing closer.
*crosses fingers*

Physical fitness test for sentosa job in the afternoon
-goodness, I hope I pass that. If I don't it'll be real embarrassing. Really, really, really embarrassing. Come on even though I don't get 36 seconds for 50m freestyle anymore, I certainly hope I can still swim. Haven't done so properly for.. YEARS. Literally.


And the next week I'll have driving on Monday, a day's break then..
THE day.

and on the night of the 30th my boat leaves port!
Cruise!

-insert satisfied smiley here-

"I'm Too Sexy" - Right Said Fred

Oh God I love this. It's so ghey and so.. pointless.

I'm too sexy for you.
I'm too sexy for my dog.
I'm too sexy for my room.
I'm too sexy for school.
I'm too sexy for my life.
I'm too sexy for my blog.

I'm too sexy to be writing this now.

Funkyzeit mit Bruno! - Funkytime with Bruno!

It's Bruno the gay Austrian fashion reporter!! I love Bruno. Unfortunately, I'm not a man so he can't love me back. hahahah.

Just watch.



FAB-ulous *waves arms*

Achievements made in Year 2 Semester 1

Something I wholeheartedly agree with from Chingy's blog

"achievements made in school this sem
im real good at DaiDee now"


I concur.
School isn't a waste of time.


Ok, I realise my blog has been nothing but dry posts for a while. Don't read my inane babblings.
Look at this picture instead.


Last Halloween. In handsome-boy-Rajan's class.


Or you could just laugh at the many faces of Chen Binghui, Terence.

One for the Razorbacks

I know I am crazy, and a bit lazy
But I will try to bring you up again now

Cause' I'm losing what's left of my dignity
A small price to pay to see that you're happy
Forget all the disappointments you have faced
Open up your worried world and let me in


-Green Day

Green Day = comfort/ staple food.

"you're ready, they're not. ask yourself -- are they worth the wait? answer honestly."

I found this while reading backdated entries on BenLefty's blog (hey, I'm supremely bored and yes, procrastinating really badly when I should be studying my brains out but..)

Anyway, it really struck me and stuck in my mind because I can relate totally and completely to it now.
Are they worth the wait? I think they are.

To me,
You are.
And I will wait, to the very best of my abilities, I will be there.



It was the weirdest, silliest, stupidest of reasons that made me realise that I love you, completely, truly. Supremely odd, but it just makes me know. And I want you to know.

why do I always get myself into such messes? I don't ask for a lot.. do I? ):
All I want is...

ahhhh

ahhh, Fred. ooooooooooooh, Fre- ok I'm sure mostly you're going "who the fuck's Fred?"
Well never mind.
(Fred Fred Fred!!)

Sadly this is the only picture I have of Fred, I'd love to take a picture with him but that'd be just odd, wouldn't it? Man. He's so sweet, he always comes to say hi after their sets, with that smile on his face. Oh, that smile. Ahh *swoons* ok I'm sounding way too retarded I should shut up now.

(ha ha, sorry, you have just been subjected to the ramblings of a very bored mind. sigh I need to straighten my mind out but all it can do now is babble in its confusion.)

Anyway, Hamster played "It's My Life" with Doug O and Satellite oh stage. Hooray man I'm so proud of you (haha sounds weird doesn't it.) But yeah.



sigh, I just want things the way they were before, how we used to be.
I miss it all, I miss you.

No, not again. Please, please, no.

I know what I want, and you know it too. Now it's up to you, all up to you.
don't let me down? I can't take it again. Why, why, why?

It used to be so good, I want all that back.
I don't think I've wanted anything so badly.



you.

Sometimes..

this is all I want to do.


"I'm alright, I'm okay, I think God can explain."


I think.

I tried crying out a happy face, like Edward Norton's character in Fight Club does when he hugs Bob and cries, but it didn't work.

Late-night trip

or
"What happens when someone is bored"
or

"Wanderlust: Chronicles of a bored almost-nineteen-year-old with no life on a Friday night."


I should think the title(s) say it all. I took a trip down to Mustafa to get food for Russell cause I was sodamnfuckingbored. And, I spent nothing on transport, cause I managed to catch the last bus going down, and the last one going back up the road home. Am I good or am I good?


On the bus there -Freddie wanted to go, so we went.


In Mustafa, it was very dar- waitwait I meant it was very crowded.


On the bus back. Note the stash at my feet.


The loot: (L to R) Stuff to mix with ice and gin, Russell food, Russell food.




Good God I have absolutely no life. ):
somebody save me, please.

Dear God,

Please please please give me THIS CAR ):
hahahahhahahahahahah.




But it's on a classic car license, which, according to LTA, allows me to only drive it 28 days a year, and I can't convert it back to a regular license, even if I had all the money to pay per year.

DAMN!!

Isn't it funny how the year has flown?

Sometimes I feel so sad, cause when I was younger and more naive/ innocent/ some might say stupid, I had silly romantic notions, and I've yet to have them fulfilled.

Well, I don't think they're silly cause deep inside (even though apparently I don't look like it/ project that kind of image), deep inside I'm just a sappy romantic, a sentimental idiot, and part of me wishes someone would be just as romantic and sweep me off my feet, and truly mean it.

Romantic things don't have to be the tried and worn out cliches which pass for "romantic" in some people's books, hey, the devil is in the details.
Little things matter, matter a lot.
Lying down somewhere looking at the sky staring at the stars having songs written for and sung to waking up in the morning knowing that someone loves and misses you writing notes on napkins placing notes in books in pockets in bags long phone conversations when you never want to be the first to hang up finding fifty-seven other ways to say/ show "I love you" walking hand in hand (and God) even being proposed to properly, not something like 'eh you want to get married?'..
See I bet you can't match those with the Nicola you know, huh? I should stop I'm embarrassing myself really badly.

Strangely, pathetically, I feel like crying.
Maybe it's just the combination of being home so early from school and lying down looking at the sky listening to "Losing my Touch" by the Stones, but right now I just feel blue. Like my little romantic notions will never be met.

And well that just makes me sad.

"Place Your Hands" - Reef

Place Your Hands is just way too funky!

and for some reason I like this song - Where Do Broken Hearts Go, by Whitney Houston

another lonely night...

...another night spent alone.

is it possible to feel so alone, not just physically, but emotionally alone?

hole-hearted

Life just about sucks when you realise the only thing you consistently say "I love you" to is your dog.

Even though he's just oh-so-adorable.

Seriously though, lately there's been not so much a hole, but a vacuum inside me. Not just an empty space, but an empty space that constantly sucks (accidental pun intended), inhales, and swallows everything.
I'm unimportant, I'm unimportant, I'm unimportant, I'm unimportant.

I just feel so empty, so alone, so insecure.

unimportant

Sometimes I think this world could do with one less Nicola.

Or at least, people don't need a Nicola in their lives. Certainly, I've had many first-hand experiences where it seems like people want a Nicola in their lives, only to toss their Nicola aside after a while.

oh well.

ah..

Fred. Is. So. Cute.
(though I think I'm the only one who thinks so. ok then, more for me!)
If I ever have a car and Fred's still playing and (well a whole lotta things) I will give him a ride home! All the way to Tampines, yes.
Why does he have to be married! (I think). Damn shit!

Tonight: one of the most fun nights I've had in a while, I think. Booze, good music and good people to interact with.
After five beers (one on Doug) and a lychee martini, the world's looking rather merry through a little buzzy high. Only a small one though. Damn I'm hungry. Ok, I guess I shall try sleep now. School at ten I'd better go; I've missed handsome-boy-Rajan's class for three weeks now. Not good, not good.

Terror Thursdays: six hours of Total Non-stop Knowledge Action!

Thursdays are bad.

What's worse is I keep skipping early lessons.
I get so fucking tired in the mornings when I wake up I usually just fall asleep again after turning off two alarms.

What's even worse (or hardcore a.k.a. stupid) is that Chingy has an attendance warning letter for every single module this semester. Yes, even Chet's specialist dip. lessons, and we've only had like 5 of those so far.
Wow good job, good job friend!


don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it

another fuck up why do i always fuck up sorry i can't be who you want me to be i know i disappoint i know i let down i know i'm not worth anything i know i should not have been born i know i should not live i know i'm stupid and i know i never meet expectations i'm sorry to three people, two related and one completely unrelated to each other, i'm sorry i don't think anyone knows what i'm talking about i'm sorry if you don't know what i'm talking about i'm sorry you, and you don't know what i'm talking about i'm sorry despite anyone not knowing what i'm talking about i'm sorry everyone.

Toast!

Toast of War

Oh, this is just SO cute!

OOPS!

Black Button

An interesting, thought provoking short film shot by two guys from Melbourne, with an interesting, quirky twist at the end. Worth a watch.

I'm not happy.
It's a long story, I think. One that I'm not willing to divulge, I think. I can get over it, out of this rut, I think.
I hope so.
What would it take to be adored? Doted on, devoted to? What would it take to know?

Make a Memory

Bon Jovi has a new album!
Chingy Chingy please please pirate it for me so I can leech it off you :D:D:D



PHWORRRRRRRRRR JON BON JOVI PHWORRRRRRRRRR. hothothothothot!


Ahh. The Living in Sin video is so sexaaayy. I wanna do that with the Jon in that video! haha.

Old Bon Jovi > New(er) Bon Jovi.

Hiphop Jelly

Have you heard of "hiphop jelly"? It's this ice-cream thing that's under the Paddle Pop brand, but well, to use Shaun's description, " ice cream..that's like paddle pop but it's made of jelly and wobbles".

It's so fun! It wobbled in the most obscenely delicious way. I haven't seen it anywhere for aaaages.

I miss it.
Do tell me if you've seen it!

Whoops.

Hello and greetings, comrades.

I realise that in many posts I sound like a complete and utter bimbo. Let me assure you, dear friends, that this is definitely not the case.
Ok I suppose friends who read this do know that (generally) I'm not a bimbo, only when the occasional whim strikes, or when I'm around someone who influences me (Gillian!)
If you want to see real bimbo, you should check out how Sheryl whatsername-the-one-who-(what Aza claims anyway)-wears-the-pushup-bras-to-attract-people from my year types. Only I don't have her blog address, cause I can't be stuffed with 98% of people in my course.

However if you were a random person blog-surfing I guess you'd think I was utterly air-headed. Well I AM NOT! Ten to one I'm just super, duper, uberly bored, and I tend to babble real badly when I'm bored, please believe.

Chingy's girlfriend came to school with him today, and waited for him in Foodcourt 6(66) while we had our Legal System and Contracts paper. How sweet is that? awww, really. (and I say this with absolutely zero sarcasm, seriously)

Anyway I'm booooooooored again, as usual. I should be studying dear ol' Organisational Management but everyfuckingtime I stare at the notes I fall asleep. I kid you not.

Evermore says (9:57 PM):
guess what
Evermore says (9:57 PM):
i changed my strings on sunday
Evermore says (9:57 PM):
its rusting now
Evermore says (9:57 PM):
my fingers have acid!
nicola presents: The Amazing Adventures of Bameister and Nic Jager! says (10:05 PM):
i havent changed my strings for months
Evermore says (10:05 PM):
ok so i have killer fingers

Haha, Sean.

Charles' MSN nicknames amuse me greatly. Like "i'm roasted like a meatloaf, fuck you saf day parade rsm", and "HAHA the navy contingent wobbles as much as their ships", and that's just tonight's.

Hurray I convinced (well it didn't take much) Terence to skip GEMs tomorrow. Thank goodness, no two hours in Nazi camp again, listening to a scarily cheerful lecturer smile her way through the lesson.

dofj;shdkfsdkfdgkhujrkdfghbgvrdc boredbored! Supper later with Charles and Hamster, hopefully.
Fuck studying, I guess I'll have to bullshit and smoke my way through the paper again, which would be no mean feat cause I know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about Organisational Management, considering I spend every lecture/ tutorial sleeping/listening to Freddie/ spacing out etc.
I'm pretty proud of myself, cause today's Law paper was rather do-able. And I'm going to pass for sure, now it's just a matter of how well I do.


It's so damn hard to take a picture with Kaiya. Aside from the fact that he's way too black, he always moves at the most inconvenient time.


Terence is way too pretty for your computer screen.


Sorry for the shitty pictures, I used my camera phone. I'm a little too lazy to carry my camera around with me nowadays. Especially since I'm in super-slacker-mode and I haven't carried a bag for ages.


Wow what a long post. I guess I do babble when I'm bored.

If you wanna buy me flowers (just go ahead now)

and if you'd like to talk for hours, just go ahead now.


"Two Princes" by Spin Doctors.

Funky song!
With a lefty bassist and a rather cute guitarist, how awesome.

I'm having dreams that I'm in Baroque, which is weird. Well I've had two dreams about it already, and in both I'm alone. Maybe I should go down alone one day, just to see what happens. (FredFredFred! Fred happens?) hahahahaa. I still do think he's cute, no matter what anyone says! I want to take a picture with him, would that be weird? hahaha ok shut up Nic shut up. (good grief I think I'm babbling, must be the boredom getting to me again)

I think

I'm in a bit of a mess. Maybe. I don't know. My head's all confused and my thoughts are all muddled. Sure, I'm happy (I guess) but could I be happier? (yes)

I never grab at chances when they come, could I have chosen wrongly? And now there's no more chance.

Sparkle Princess

Nothing of much significance happened today, except for our two-and-a-half-hour taidee marathon after the Consumer Behaviour test, during which Aza realised his true identity.

After playing for a good two hours or so, we started noticing mysterious traces of glitter around the area, on our hands, the table, arms..
It wasn't a lot, just a few sparkles here and there. Until the other four of us looked at Aza. He had more glitter than the rest of us put together. Probably because Aza is already three people put together, but I digress.

However, us being us, we decided to pretend that Aza was covered in glitter. And Aza, being Aza, believed us hook, line and big fishing lure. So he ditched the next hand or so and ran to the toilet, to wash off what he believed was an obscene amount of glitter.

"You're a little sparkle-y princess!"

I never really laugh as hard and as much as I do when I'm with the four deedeedees :D

talk

I want to have super-long phone conversations again. I rather miss talking on a phone to someone whom I care about.
):

I haven't been in the best of moods lately. I've been feeling very down, alone, lonely (ironic huh), and quiet. I want company, but I don't really want to talk.

Like a petulant child, I've got what I wanted (I suppose). But is it really all that I want? Do I want more? Do I want a lot more?

Yes, yes I do. But I have no idea how to ask without hating what I would sound like. I want to be everything, but that would be just plain selfish. I guess? Do I have a right to be everything? Do I have a right to ask?
I wish I was more.

So, how now, brown cow? I guess I'll just go on keeping quiet,
and pretending that I'm :D

Foolish Games

At the moment, Foolish Games, by Jewel, is my favourite song.
Well, til I find another song that won't leave my head, that is.
I wanted to put it here but then I realised that imeem.com is being a real bitch and only allowing 30 second clips unless you upload the song yourself. Or some crap like that.

So too bad yo' niggas.'Yo'yo jiggy-j-ji-ji-jiggy.



I wonder how I'd look like with a goatee?

All day all night long!

From Sunday 'til Thursday I've been drinking nothing but alcohol and water! Wine and beer at dinner and gin, whiskey, beer, tequila, vodka, martinis and random cocktails throughout the day. and night and day and night and day and night and..

Yes yes, Club Med is rather pwnage pwnz0r.

I've been in an alcohol-assisted-fun-sun-jet ski-windsurfing-beach-pool-tennis-white water rafting-hot people-good food-snorkeling-friendly people-happy-holiday-induced-high from Sunday, and as of two hours ago, when my plane touched down Changi, it disappeared ):

Now I'm back in purgatory 'til the next time I board a plane leaving the island.

poo.

This Ain't a Love Song

I want to cover this song.
It ain't a love song, but it's the biggest love song ever.
Or one of the biggest.

I realised I have a heap of songs I'd love to cover, and a "band", but no one's doing anything.

Ah well.

Secret friend!

The line below the chinese words translates to:
"My penis is as big as a whale!"

then some joker had to be a smartass and he (or she) replied:
"My penis is bigger than yours!"

So I had to reply:
"My penis is the biggest!"


I have such fun in school.

To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.

-Auguries of Innocence, William Blake.

That's my favourite stanza, from a favourite poem.


I like this video. Call me emo, but well, it's just a song. Ha. I've liked this song since it was by this little-known band called The Getaway. Now they're Matchbook Romance, and the song's changed a bit. But I still like it, haha.
(and the girl is hot!)

Makes me remember sitting in the middle of the basketball court with Su singing it while playing ball.


and the lead singer in this video is so hot hot hot. I know I sound like a lesbian but she really is hot. I wish I looked like her ):

Ramble On (so said Led Zeppelin)

I'm bored, and I'm reading through my posts on my old blog (again, yes I know I do tend to do it when I get exceedingly bored) and now I feel just the teeniest, tiniest, lightest, most delicate shade of blue.

I've also realised that though a huge amount of posts in the last few months of rocketqueen-.blogspot were really really emo, my use of words and the like was actually quite good.
Never has confusion been so clear. I can feel all the hurt I felt then, even without thinking of the events which led to such posts.

And I'm rather afraid I can't replicate such writing now. Maybe it's a good thing; I'm (comparatively) a lot happier and there's no need for ramblings that disguise themselves as blog posts, but maybe, just maybe, it's bad too, cause I don't know if - right now anyway - I can express myself as much.

Am I making sense, or just babbling yet again?

Oh, do shut up, Nic.


(I can drift in a Ferrari. Ok, granted, it's in an arcade racing game, but still! Take that, ahbengs!)

Jacket.

A trip to cooler climes will now be necessary.

Just a random thought.

it's interesting how people always say "forever", and though they may mean it at the time, nothing (cliche as it sounds), nothing really lasts forever.

I'm just in a little pensive mood, it always happens when I chance upon random pictures of people, past and present, and I get to thinking.

I should stop thinking so much.



I've also noticed how it's possible to miss someone even though you last saw him/ her just last night, all the way 'til 4am, and will be seeing him/ her in, oh say 6 or so hours :D

-After MMR presentation, courtesy of Pingster.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

I loveeee this song. Except (I may be biased here, cause I think Fred's pretty damn adorable, haha!) I think the version Satellite plays is better, cause they speed it up a bit. Like the version the Clash plays live.

Its fun, if I could dance to this song I WOULD.

In another bid to procrastinate..

I followed some random video links and came across these two videos.
My goodness, so cuteeeeeeeeeeee. It just makes me wanna squeeeezeee.


haha. ok.






My mum loves this song, and I like it too! The woman in the video is.. phworrrrrrrr. If I looked as hot as that I'd.. I'd. Uh. I'd fuck myself! :P

*

Come on, I'll pay someone $10 to complete my E-learning for me. I've got three modules left! Feature Writing, Mass Media Research and Organisational Management. Hell, I'll even do MMR just pleeeeeease, finish the other two for me?

Blood and sweat

haha. Charles, Charles.

Procrastination

Is really going to be the death of me.
It's the oh-so-fun, wonderfully exciting, mentally stimulating E-LEARNING WEEK!!!

Let's clap, let's clap.

Ok, enough. Not funny anymore.
(I should stop referencing Kung Pow. And while we're on it, Napoleon Dynamite etc etc)

Urgh I absolutely abhor e-learning week. No matter how many times I do it, I can't get used to it. sucksucksucksuckfuckfucksuckafuckaaaaaa.


I've finished one module and I keep procrastinating. Fear not, there's always tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after, and the day after that one, and the day after that, and then..
Sunday.



Oh.

rrrandom.

pictures!
peektures!
peek-churrrrssss.

K k I'm bored, so sue me.



the grapes of warth



I like grapes. I was bored so I took pictures of them before I consumed every. single. grape.



New shoes. I need to show Sheila Kee. I should babble to her about them to show her that I AM GIRLY. Take that take that take that.



I think this was a couple of weeks ago, we were in the bus, late for GEMs. Mervyn looks like such an emo kid.



Aza: "must touch must touch!"
(poor Kavee)