in less than a month my age will consist of a 2 and a 0.

I miss my planter pot of pansies that used to sit outside the breakfast alcove window, by the pool.

Sometimes fragments of memories from the past pop into my head and I miss being a kid in melb. so terribly much.

I guess it's cause I feel old. School's ending soon, and there are so many changes up ahead.

I don't want to think abut it but inevitably, everything will change. I'm scared of growing apart, of losing touch, of things not working out how I want them to.

I'm so goddamn scared of what might happen.

I really am.

i wish i could tell you...

my heart still jumps when i see you
i still miss you whenever you're not around
i always want to improve myself for you
i think you're the cutest ever and
i want to spend every moment i can with you.



you know what? maybe i will.

I don't know who reads this anymore and I don't know if I care. I barely post anymore anyway. Lately I don't feel like writing much, nor saying much. But sometimes keeping it bottled up is a bit too much to take.

I'd say I wish I could talk to someone about it, but I don't even know what to say, or how to phrase things.

I suppose for me life's pretty good, I'd even go so far as to say it was very good.

But sometimes I wonder if I've made the right choices.

One Nation Under Lee

random rant.

Facebook sucks, it keeps showing me that practically everyone else has a life other than me. But oh well. I need the money and Julius is working too and I don't have much of a life anyway. Whatever. I'm hungry and bored and lazy and I don't want to work anymore. No more no more no more. I want to spend whole days lazing around with Jules doing practically nothing.

grr

I still can't believe I missed Jebediah. BLERRRHHH -kicks self in head-

JEBEDIAH WERE HERE FOR BAYBEATS AND I DIDN'T KNOW AND HENCE DIDN'T GO.


WHY.


FUCK.

Baybeats happened this weekend and I didn't go. I could have passed my time there last night, but I clean forgot about it and never mind, I found one of Jeremy Clarkson's books in the Central Library, so all was not lost.

I have to be a Clementi at 6:40AM tomorrow morning to meet my cameraman. WHYOHWHY (I know why - this is a totally stupid story and I'm the intern, and it's my first assignment.)

But still. WHYOHWHY. SO EARLY ELKRJFSDAJSDKFJSADASD.

it isn't a job, its a life-stealer. it's stealing your life. it's stealing you. and if you don't care, i certainly do. you're not supposed to work like 15++ hours one shot, 7 days a week and only get paid a flat rate of absolute peanuts, that's just crazy. no matter what line of work it is.

NO MORE P PLATE!

whoa fuck i've had my license for A WHOLE DAMN YEAR.

and still, NO DAMN CAR.

WHY.

suck balls

Terence is driving his mum's car around, Jules is doing that now but next month his Vios Sports comes in and he'll have his own car. OWN CAR. and they all passed like what, three months ago tops.

What's wrong with this picture here!!! Where's my car!

knn.

supermultitasking

there's a tit in the tit le. whoops i mean title.

god I'm so bored. I'm watching BBC on tv, sms-ing, talking on msn, surfing the web and listening to KISS (Gene Simmons pelvic thrust!) in the office. I'm trying to look busy and damnn I look it. But I'm really not.

Shh.

I'm bringing Freddie to the office every day. With the iTunes I downloaded into my office PC and some luck I'll manage to listen to every song in him before I go back to school. Probably won't happen though.

I say:
in my wallet i have 20$ and in my bank i have 27$

I say:
FUCK THATS 47$ IN TOTAL

I say:
siao liao already


I thought I was bad. But you know, anytime you think you're in the pits there's always someone worse off than you.


Chingy says:
wa you rich shit i have $6 in my wallet and $1. something in my bank


pwnd.

if there's one feature that would seduce me over to the iPhone side of life, it's the sms chat-like layout.

sometimes

i keep everything bottled up inside me im afraid i might implode. lately i've been experiencing the same feeling of dread lining my stomach, like lead weighing it down. though it's a psychological thing, i can feel it physically. and for similar reasons.

i think sometimes i care/ love you too much for my own good. you don't seem to appreciate it much/ care and it only serves to hurt me. i should try caring less. i wonder if you'll notice/ care?
btw there's a severe overuse of the word "care" in this post.