"Place Your Hands" - Reef

Place Your Hands is just way too funky!

and for some reason I like this song - Where Do Broken Hearts Go, by Whitney Houston

another lonely night...

...another night spent alone.

is it possible to feel so alone, not just physically, but emotionally alone?

hole-hearted

Life just about sucks when you realise the only thing you consistently say "I love you" to is your dog.

Even though he's just oh-so-adorable.

Seriously though, lately there's been not so much a hole, but a vacuum inside me. Not just an empty space, but an empty space that constantly sucks (accidental pun intended), inhales, and swallows everything.
I'm unimportant, I'm unimportant, I'm unimportant, I'm unimportant.

I just feel so empty, so alone, so insecure.

unimportant

Sometimes I think this world could do with one less Nicola.

Or at least, people don't need a Nicola in their lives. Certainly, I've had many first-hand experiences where it seems like people want a Nicola in their lives, only to toss their Nicola aside after a while.

oh well.

ah..

Fred. Is. So. Cute.
(though I think I'm the only one who thinks so. ok then, more for me!)
If I ever have a car and Fred's still playing and (well a whole lotta things) I will give him a ride home! All the way to Tampines, yes.
Why does he have to be married! (I think). Damn shit!

Tonight: one of the most fun nights I've had in a while, I think. Booze, good music and good people to interact with.
After five beers (one on Doug) and a lychee martini, the world's looking rather merry through a little buzzy high. Only a small one though. Damn I'm hungry. Ok, I guess I shall try sleep now. School at ten I'd better go; I've missed handsome-boy-Rajan's class for three weeks now. Not good, not good.

Terror Thursdays: six hours of Total Non-stop Knowledge Action!

Thursdays are bad.

What's worse is I keep skipping early lessons.
I get so fucking tired in the mornings when I wake up I usually just fall asleep again after turning off two alarms.

What's even worse (or hardcore a.k.a. stupid) is that Chingy has an attendance warning letter for every single module this semester. Yes, even Chet's specialist dip. lessons, and we've only had like 5 of those so far.
Wow good job, good job friend!


don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it don't think about it don't think about it think about it

another fuck up why do i always fuck up sorry i can't be who you want me to be i know i disappoint i know i let down i know i'm not worth anything i know i should not have been born i know i should not live i know i'm stupid and i know i never meet expectations i'm sorry to three people, two related and one completely unrelated to each other, i'm sorry i don't think anyone knows what i'm talking about i'm sorry if you don't know what i'm talking about i'm sorry you, and you don't know what i'm talking about i'm sorry despite anyone not knowing what i'm talking about i'm sorry everyone.

Toast!

Toast of War

Oh, this is just SO cute!

OOPS!

Black Button

An interesting, thought provoking short film shot by two guys from Melbourne, with an interesting, quirky twist at the end. Worth a watch.

I'm not happy.
It's a long story, I think. One that I'm not willing to divulge, I think. I can get over it, out of this rut, I think.
I hope so.
What would it take to be adored? Doted on, devoted to? What would it take to know?